The One Common Lie Married Women Must Stop Telling!

Posted: October 31, 2014 in Uncategorized
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One of the major issues couples typically complain about is communication. Everyone knows men and women have very different communication styles. It’s still obvious those women are from Venus and men are from Mars and that we all speak different love languages. Quite naturally this causes confusion.

While women are sometimes the initiators and are naturally more prone to communicate with their partner, there still appears to be a disconnect in what we sometimes communicate about.  We (men), although we may be open to listening, aren’t usually eager to ask more clarifying questions to ensure we have the best understanding or interpretation of our words.

Some women are quick to share the wordy details of the workday and what the bestie did to hurt their feelings. However, some occasionally seem to still struggle in this one area. The one area, that one lie some women are still telling is…

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine”

When clearly, the majority of times they are asked what’s wrong, they are either frustrated, offended or disappointed by something our spouse said, did or didn’t do.

Their mouth is telling one story, while their silence, eye rolling, folded arms and pursed lips are telling a completely different one. Believe it or not, men in your lives know better. They know you and can easily tell when a mood has changed. They strip their protective, problem-solving powers when you keep your true concerns hidden. It also makes it very difficult to have an honest conversation and obtain the results you’re seeking.

Most women tell this particular lie because they feel as though their partner should automatically know what’s bothering them. Some of you think the connection should be that strong, that without you ever saying a word, your mate should not only know the issue, but promptly apologize for it too.

The truth is, we (men) need clarity. As obvious as it may seem, we need to hear the specifics of what’s really upsetting you. We also need to understand why, whatever it was, bothered you the way it did. The last piece is critical, as it may not seem like a big deal to us. If it is to you, you must share. People, in general, can receive information easier when the “why” is explained thoroughly.

Ladies, you have to be willing to discuss your needs and not leave your partner guessing. Effective communication means just that, it’s effective. It generates positive results and allows both partners the opportunity to be on the same page.

With all of that being said, I do, however, recommend that you pick your battles selectively. It’s important to perform self-assessments to determine whether what’s bothering you at the moment, is actually that big of a deal. If it is and you need a release, then it has to be discussed, for the overall health of the relationship.

Whether your partners have a clear understanding of what’s bothering you or not, what is so wrong with actually expressing it? It will immediately clear up any confusion or doubt and get you a lot closer to resolving the situation. In the end, isn’t that what you really want anyway?

  1. Hamida says:

    Oh no if I have a problem my husband is going to hear about it, & I don’t mean that in a nagging way but simply put I strongly believe in communication, if I feel like we shouldn’t discuss the issue at that moment and we need a more controlled space, then I will simply tell him that I think we should talk about it somewhere else or at another time. I just believe in communication and don’t believe in holding things in, it builds resentment.

  2. abdulnoor says:

    My dear Hamida, hope all is well. Some of us men are “real men.” We make an effort to help keep the marriage/relationship together, but we want feedback from our wives/spouse. We need support, & encouragement also! It helps to keep our “head up”

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