HOW TO GET OUT OF A RUT?!

Posted: August 9, 2014 in Uncategorized

I will be the first to admit that I am fantastic at giving advise and contributing to the well being of others BETTER than I am at listening to my own advice. With that premise in mind, I begin to write this post. My theory is that maybe I’ll stumble across a more developed plan for myself to get out of the ruts I find myself in sometimes. Let’s stop sugar coating it…it’s depression. It’s something that I have dealt with in private for all of my life…that hasn’t worked out too well so I might as well put it out there.

Now, I don’t think that it’s exactly what you see in commercials. I think commercials about depression are geared towards jolting people into buying a product. Especially when the talk of suicide is involved. I am happy that they make such a pressing case that these people need to get help BUT I don’t think that depression is always that dramatic. Have I thought I killing myself? Yes. Have I ever wondered if the world would be a better place without me? Yes. Have I ever been SO low and quite frankly feeling SO sorry for myself that I wondered if anyone would even care if I was gone? Yes. I can also tell you that the feeling lasted for as long at it took you to read these lines. A flash in the pan. Would I ever or have I ever SERIOUSLY contemplated this stuff? HELL NO. I have too many people that love me and would hurt without me in this world. I am also so confident in God’s plan for me that I know that even if I don’t think I can handle the pressure that I have in my life, I am SURE that I can. I also know that I am blessed to only have had fleeting thoughts of this nature…years ago.

I only talk about that deep dark place because I know that it exists for so many people out there…and they will probably never admit it. It’s okay though. I think every one evaluates their life and it’s meaning. I think everyone wonders at some point if anyone would come to their funeral. I think everyone at some point feels like there are trials and hardships that come into their life that they can’t get through. I believe that even MORE frequently people find themselves in a rut. That, of course, was my original motivation for writing this post.

What IS a rut? I can’t answer for anyone else but I know that mine typically start when I see something going a different way in my head and then falling apart. Sound familiar to anyone else? Hahahaha….I’m about to solve the problem as soon as I start breaking it down…haha!

Look at my definition. Rut – an emotion and mental trap that one creates for themselves after being discouraged. I think that definition does justice…and I think that IN it lies the answer for how to get out of a rut. Maybe just realizing the simple fact that a rut is something that we trap OURSELVES into will help us. Then again, maybe realizing that something discouraged us and hurt us and caused this domino effect is important as well. I know for a fact that for ME, I am realizing that it’s more important to deal with the things that really and truly deeply hurt me so I will keep from going into this place where I punish myself constantly for it.

This entire idea for this post came from a person texted me. I had sent out a text saying that I had been in rut lately. She said that she had too and asked how to get out of it. The only thing I know to say was “Pray! Be Positive! Focus!” I think that for the amount of space I had in the text that was sufficient. I still wanted to elaborate more though…for her, for myself, for someone else that needs more of an answer.

My interpretation of what I am writing is simple for me. I need to 1st identify the situation that causes me pain, discouragement, and/or anger and analyze it. Dissect it. Confront it. Sometimes things are so hard that we just continue to truck along like nothing happened. Sometimes it’s even out of what we think is necessity! I don’t have time to deal with that emotional pain right now…my kid needs me to focus on making money, I don’t want to burden anyone else with my pain, I shouldn’t feel like this because it says that I am weak. NEWS FLASH! IT WON’T GO AWAY! Best case scenario is that we elude the confrontation for awhile and God knows…it becomes harder and harder by the minute to confront ourselves about something we feel inside. Think about it…who else knows how to kick your own ass better than YOU?!

I know that it’s impossible to always know what may send you into a rut SO…when you realize that it’s happened you have to do something to CHANGE. I think “rut” is also related to the word “routine”. Change your routine! If you are having a series of negative days, you have to make a conscious effort sometimes to INJECT positivity into it!! It takes some effort to get out a rut…did I mention that? You may actually have to do stuff that you don’t even really want to do! Perfect example is the push ups, curls and crunches that I am about to start doing RIGHT NOW! I don’t want to do them AT ALL…matter of fact, I am only mentioning it so that I HAVE to do them based on my requirement to always be truthful in my writing. I am think MORE about the fact that being sore tomorrow will at least allow myself to be proud of me. Does that make any sense? In order to get our of a rut sometimes, you need to be proud of yourself for something. A little thing can turn into 2 little things, then 3, then 6, then who knows…maybe your are out of the rut! (Apparently writing helps with Ruts also…I feel better every time I write. Reflection and honesty go a long way when trying to improve yourself.)

Finally, I think we should share the life happenings that we go through with other people. I don’t know that it will always be a required step for everyone to go through in order to feel better themselves, but I know that it helps me. It helps me to share the times that I have felt low with other people because I know that what I go through is relative to what others go through. We all may have different stories and victories over triumph but there are always similarities with someone else…even if there isn’t a specific parallel, it’s amazing how sharing a story of trial and tribulation with someone can communicate to them the very simple message that they CAN win in their situation too. I think this is very important to us as a community to pass on wisdom amongst ourselves.

Question: How do I get out of a rut?

Answear: Identify the problem that started it…Face it…change (improve) something in your life and be proud of yourself…pass that wisdom on to others.

I guess I needed to write a lot of words to get to a pretty simple answer.

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