Cheating Out Of Marriage!

Posted: July 5, 2014 in Uncategorized

In our age of popular culture, we are confronted and live with numerous social phenomena in our modern society for which scientists and researchers seek answers for solutions. However, one of the oldest social issues of interest that have prevailed throughout time is adultery. Often referred to as having an affair, cheating or unfaithfulness, love and betrayal of a spouse is the number one leading causes of divorce worldwide. The desire for sex with someone other than a spouse, however, remains to be socially unacceptable behavior. When one partner in the marriage feels unappreciated, the need to have attention and to feel admiration may not be the intention to cheat and for good reasons. Cheating causes a break in the relationship with a spouse and frequently sharing personal space with someone other than a spouse may be all that is needy to confuse sexual tension, lust, and temporary infatuation with something that it isn’t.

Why do the sexes become so needy for admiration and attention in marriage? What does it take to keep love and happiness alive in marriage? Of course, to get to the heart of these answers requires going back to the beginning, and going back to the beginning is revisiting the early dating phrase of the relationship well before the marriage. Let’s travel down memory lane…remember when the relationship was new? Remember when both parties provided each other with lots of esteem, appreciation, and love in abundance? He was the attentive, complimentary, thoughtful, and romantic type. She laughed at his jokes no matter how bad they were and because this is what he wanted and needed. A man wants to be able to make the woman in his life laugh and women understand this unspoken tactic of expressing admiration to a man is reassuring for him.

Women before marriage are also more physically passionate creatures and pay attention to the touches and caresses their men enjoy and want. This includes dressing more seductively, using nonverbal cues to let him know that he is wanted, and that he is the rock star that rocks her world! A man loves this type of attention from the woman he loves and in turn he loves and desires her. What is to be desired than gold and many precious stones; sweeter than honey and the honeycomb; and, strong than a lion? Love! During the pre-marriage phase, love seems to come so easy: Then, comes marriage and complacency. Some people feel that complacency and boredom after holy matrimony is unavoidable or is par for the course of marriage life. The love and attention a couple once gave freely to each other dissipates once the children, mortgage, finances, and other real life issues enter into the equation.

Should marriage equal routine, and should routine equal a loss in excitement? The answer is emphatically; no! The worst tragedy that can occur in a marriage is when one or both spouses lose excitement for one or each other. Remember that before the children and all of life’s other demands, the two of you were first. You should not lose or forget about the things the two of you need from each other and what you once brought to the relationship. Those things still matters, especially so in marriage. Marriage life brings about changes and although some level of cool down is expected, it should not become your new norm. Particularly, when you find that the new norms include limited or very little communication or no quality time spent together. Too many couples assume that the present status quo of their marriage is working fine for the other spouse as well.

Nonetheless, we never outgrow wanting to feel loved, needed, and appreciated and when one spouse feels that the other no longer finds them attractive they will desperately seek validation by turning to or becoming vulnerable to the snares of a third party. Seeking the understanding and affections of someone other than a spouse doesn’t necessarily happen because the other woman or man is more beautiful, younger, and sexier or have something that just draws their interest, physically and mentally. Affairs are symptomatic of problems pre-existing in the marriage and the unfaithfulness of men and women are directly tied to the lack of love that may deeply rooted in the need for attention or the loss of excitement. For example, if you were a passionate lover prior to marriage, don’t lose your passion for love after the honeymoon. The problem with affairs between the sexes is that men and women are affected by cheating differently.

When a woman seeks love and attention by having an affair, unlike a man, she involves her emotions and sex that creates a bonding response allowing the affair to take on a life that is ongoing. A man is capable of a one shot, one-night stand and even if he goes back for more, his emotional investment in the affair will usually not result in his desire to leave home. Outside love for men seems to help them deal with the lack of attention, boredom and stress at home while creating another problem later when the cheating is exposed. Does being a husband or wife mean reserving each other for sex? It is important to remember that regardless of vows, and the promises of fidelity to love and honor during the wedding ceremony, a band of gold is not a guarantee that a spouse is lock down sexually for life especially for men. Women in particular do believe that marriage alone should keep a man faithful. Well, he may comfort and keep her, but remain true to her while for saking the other woman as long as he lives? This is good in theory, depending upon wife and depending upon husband. There are loving, and devoted husbands who have and who will stray because women do change. Men can change as well, but who is more likely to cheat in the marriage if they feel neglected?

If love, excitement, appreciation, and communication are lost in your marriage, make the time to rekindle the fires and rediscovery the love and passion in you and your spouse. The fire that you want to keep burning is the home fires, and fires are exciting. Excitement for your spouse is critical and this excitement involves more than just the physical aspect of the marriage. Remember that marriage is a commitment and only you can protect the love and trust that is required to be faithful in the bonds of marriage.


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