Overcome After Spouse Death!!! Dedication to Zuhra Salum

Posted: October 31, 2013 in Uncategorized

Overcome After Spouse Death!!! Dedication to  Zuhra Salum

After losing her spouse, a friend, partner and a husband to be suddenly two years ago it had been suggested by well-meaning friends and relatives to try to overcome with the situation. After reading my blog she told me to write about her spouse death. I discovered there was an important issues how I can have something to her grieving! It belongs to me and no one else. But I am not alone. There was someone else out there who was feeling like how she feels, thinking like she do, acting like she do…from this I learned I must do. It may help others tremendously.

Grief is a difficult time in any person’s life. It may be especially challenging following the death of a partner, like a husband, wife or spouse. When a woman loses her husband, she loses not only a romantic partner, but a companion for social activities, a confidant and someone who made her feel important and loved on a daily basis. Dealing with this sudden loss can be amplified by the feelings of loneliness that accompany being separated from this person. By reaching out to the right people and resources, a woman struggling with the death of her husband can take steps toward overcoming her loneliness.

Loss of a spouse is often one of the difficult challenges in life, whether the spouse dies in middle age, old age or somewhere in between. The surviving spouse, now a widow or widower, faces many challenges in coming to terms with a life without their friend and partner. This blog post is dedicated to my best friend Zuhra Salum who lost her spouse two years back and the aim is to offers helpful resources for coping with the loss of her spouse.

Following a loss, death, tragic event or major life challenge, it may be difficult to remember to take care for oneself. Focusing on the basis survival needs for the body–remembering to eat, sleep and exercise–is especially needed initially after a life changing event. This short list provides basic, healthy coping strategies to keep you moving in the coming days.

1. Do not rush. Though you eventually need to pick up the pieces of your life and carry on, take time to accept your spouse’s death—and all of its consequences.

2. Seek support from friends and family. Informal supports like friends, children, siblings or even parents provide not only an outlet for your feelings, but the empathy and unconditional love you may have been missing since the loss of your spouse.

3. Embrace your independence. You may be accustomed to making life decisions as a member of a partnership, and facing these choices alone can be daunting. Remember that it is OK to make mistakes, and do not fear big decisions.

4. Allow yourself to feel happy. Going out with old friends and making new ones is an opportunity to enjoy the world, feel social, smile and laugh. You may still miss your spouse, but that does not sentence you to a life alone.

5. Dedicate yourself to service. You may find that making a positive impact on another person’s life is a gratifying experience⎯helping the sick, elderly, poor or homeless may give you a feeling of self-worth.

Mungu ametoa, Mungu ametwaa.

I remain Noor

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