How committed are you?

Posted: October 21, 2013 in Uncategorized

How committed are you?

1. Your relationship is not going very well at the moment and it just so happens that your old flame has magically re-appeared on the scene. For old times sake, he proposes a ‘fling-thing’ between the two of you. Do you accept?

a) Sure why not? We only live once, so I might as well get my kicks while I still can. After all, the more friends one has the better, right? There is no harm in that, is there?

b) I would think about this fling-thing pretty seriously for a while but only because I feel so unappreciated by my partner at the moment. In the end I would probably tell my former love we can keep in touch but not necessarily have an affair. An affair would probably be too hot for me to handle but I would tell the person we can still be friends since I would very much like to have a shoulder to cry on if the need arises.

A SHOULDER TO LEAN ON:

There is a good number of people who are not faithful to their partners.

c) Fling-thing? Everyone knows that when you play with fire you get burnt. There is a reason why I walked out on this old flame in the first place, and I do not want to relight those flames. What he is offering might appear very tempting especially now, but who knows? I could be going straight from the frying pan into the fire.

2. You are happy because it is payday today at your place of work. But your partner just rang and told you he is dead broke and needs some financial assistance to get through the month. His timing could not be worse for there were these to-die-for outfits that you saw at the mall the other weekend and you were dead set on splurging out and buying them. Now if you give your partner the money you would have to kiss the shopping spree goodbye! So what are you going to do?

a) Lie! In a tone heavy-laden with sorrow you inform him that although it is true today is your payday you still have many pressing debts you desperately need to sort out, then after hanging up on him smile with glee and get ready to shop till you drop!

b) You give him some (he can get the rest from elsewhere) of the money he requested for. This way you can still go on that mad shopping spree.

c) Beautiful clothes are always going to be in the shops. Though I would love to go shopping more than anything, my partner means the world to me so I’d give him what he asked for. Besides the time might come in the future when I am the one in need of financial assistance and I am sure he will bail me out then.

3. Financially, things have not continued to go very well for your partner. He cannot even take you out on dates anymore! But it just so happens that you bump into a Stinking-Rich-Sugar-Daddy who is offering you heaven and earth courtesy of his bulging wallet. “Your boyfriend doesn’t need to know,” he whispers in your ear. “It will just be a little secret between us!” So what do you do?

a) What would I do? I would readily jump into this Sugar Daddy’s sleek car and take up his proposal of course! A money-less relationship is one that gets pretty old pretty fast. Besides, I deserve to get spoiled once in a while!

b) I would go out with him just for a few dates, just to have a good time with no strings attached, but thereafter severe the relationship.

c) Everybody knows money cannot buy love, so there is no way I would go out with this so-called sugar daddy!

4. Happily, your partner’s financial situation has improved drastically giving him the confidence that now is the right time to propose marriage to you, so what do you say? Do you…

a) Tell him thanks but no thanks; you never did like the idea of settling down with only one person for the rest of your life. You wish him a nice life just before kissing him good-bye.

b) Tell him you would think about it, and you do, very carefully looking at both sides of the coin before you say “yes”.

c) Ecstatically tell him “yes”! You are over the moon! You are going to get married to the love of your life.

5. While you were growing up, you had always thought your parents could set a new Guinness World record for their level of strictness. You went from being a wee tot, bypassing childhood including the teenage years, and somehow made it to where you are now, the brink of marriage. However mummy and daddy whom you’d hoped had mellowed with age haven’t! When you introduced the love of your life to them they absolutely detested him and made it crystal clear they were convinced he was not good enough for you! To add insult to injury they told you they have already picked out someone else for you! You are perplexed, what do you do? Do you…

a) Sigh heavily and let mummy and daddy have their own way, again. You never did like confrontations and family quarrels; you just want to have some peace. Perhaps, in time, you will get to like the spouse they have picked out for you, perhaps.

b) Try and reason with mummy and daddy and make them understand you love your fiancé; surely they cannot always know what is best for you!

c) Elope!!!

6. You’ve just received some good news and some bad news simultaneously. The Good News First: Your employers like you and think you have the potential to go all the way in your career so they have kindly offered to sponsor you on a course that will help you go to the next level career-wise. Under normal circumstances you would have been over the moon but… The Bad News: This course is going to be thousands of miles away in a foreign country, which means you, are going to be separated from your spouse for a period ranging between three to four years, and you just got married! What do you do?

a) Go for it! This is your future, and your career! If your hubby cannot deal with it, then he is just being unsupportive and jealous!

b) See if there is any chance of your spouse coming along with you overseas, although you know the chances of this are slim.

c) Thank your employers for the wonderful opportunity but politely explain to them that being a newly-wed, you can’t take up this offer. Your husband would feel deserted if you packed up and left him in the lurch like this.

EVALUATION: Mostly a’s: One has to wonder why you are even in this relationship in the first place. You are not very committed, are you? Could it be, you got hurt in the past and are afraid of being hurt again? If that is the reason you pull away from your partner then you have got serious issues. You need to sort yourself out or you might just miss out on the best life has to offer. Alternatively, it could be that you just don’t love your other-half. Mostly b’s: A compromiser, you are always trying to make the middle line and keep everyone happy. Unfortunately, keeping everyone pleased is not only stressful but a task that is not always easy to accomplish. You might end up stepping on your partner’s toes and make him, understandably, question the depth of your commitment to him. Mostly c’s: Congrats! You really know what commitment is all about don’t you? That is probably why your partner adores you so much.

Noor I remain

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