Silent is Gold

Posted: April 27, 2013 in Uncategorized

I once heard my paternal aunt advising my elder sister who was getting married: “When you reach his home [the husband’s], never exchange words with him when he is angry. Should you find it unbearable, just fill your mouth with water and don’t let it out or swallow it until he has cooled down.” I was young then, and much as I overheard that piece of advice, it didn’t make sense to me. It is now that I am mature that I understand the logic behind my aunt’s advice. She meant remaining silent during those moments when serious quarrels set in. Today, many relationships have ended up in big wrangles not to mention those who have died as a result of failing to handle their conflicts because none of them chooses to be silent for even a minute. It is said that fire cannot put out another fire and couples can try to incorporate this in their relationships. It doesn’t matter who is in the wrong or who started the quarrel, but remaining silent in the event of an attack is the best option and saves a lot. Usually before someone starts a quarrel, he or she has the intention of insulting or hurting their partner and retaliating would just reinforce their decision.

However, a lot can be changed if proper measures are taken. A good example was with my friend; he had heard a lot about his wife’s adulterous behaviour. One day, he went back home boiling and determined to give her a piece of his mind. On reaching home, he started accusing and abusing her right away. Being the quarrelsome woman she is, she responded with a good package of abuses. A few days after fighting and exchanging all those hot words, he found out that all he had heard were just rumours. Many people have landed in bigger problems after acting impatiently without first evaluating the rumours to sieve what is true and false. In my friend’s case, he over reacted. But if the wife had exercised some patience by keeping silent, she would have saved a lot. To many, keeping silent may sound like a stupid thing to do but it is the best option in times of misunderstandings. When someone is angry, he or she will say anything. It’s advised that the accused or attacked person keeps quiet and waits until the annoyed partner has cooled down before giving an explanation. Saying sorry is also essential. Domestic violence is a big disease eating away at relationships and nothing can be resolved in the midst of hot exchanges. Adopt the silence attitude and when the anger has subsided, sit your partner down and resolve your differences. With time, your fights will become history.

Have a blessed weekend guys.

© Abdul Noor 

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